It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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