I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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