So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
