When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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