How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
