It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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