my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
