Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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