Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
