shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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