I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
