I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
