porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
