dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
