it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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