I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
