After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
