either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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