this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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