Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
