Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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