I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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