How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
