Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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