she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
420 ftw
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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