Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
