I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
