I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
