Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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