What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
