; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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