just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
