I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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