Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
