I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You were trust falling into bushes
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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