Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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