he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Boobs speak an international language.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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