Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
