Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I cannot find my penis.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
