from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize