Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
