wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
