Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
