Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
