We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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