FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
