Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
