I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
