I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
