I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have post one night stand depression
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
