You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
