Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
