I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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