Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You can't special order awesome
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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