Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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