oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Randomize
