I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize