Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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