Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it's like iHOP with fire
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
