Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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