Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
