do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize