Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize