Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
