My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
