oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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