I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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