I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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