Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i already hear my dad disowning me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
