That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
