wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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