Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
should my penis look like a turkey
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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