then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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