we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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