pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
