i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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