What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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