aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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