i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
