what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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