i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
