so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
